ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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