He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
