you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
