So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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