And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
