If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
