So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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