Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
