His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
