So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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