So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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