I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
