Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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