I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
