I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize