shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
