Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
