i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
