Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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