would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
