I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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