i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
