they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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