Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
