whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the condom got lost in my hair
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
