They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
