sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
