And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
