More tranny stories later!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
