maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
