I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize