I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
