She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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