I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So much Jack, so little girl.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
