just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
