I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So much rum. So many feels.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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