i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
