this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
