dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
