Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
