please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
