Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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