I need help removing her.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
