i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
