she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
