Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
