so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
