their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I could make wine with my vomit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
