hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
