would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
