this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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