Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Drunk is not a location!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
