You made me cry and you don't even care
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I had to cum in my sink.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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