covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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