Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
