Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
