Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize