Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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