Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
