thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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