ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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