Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Shame - the story of my life.
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