You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
