I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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