Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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